Since I just celebrated another year, it’s only fitting that I went through my entire collection of blog posts to spruce it up for greater consumption. What I learned is that most of it is boring enough that I shouldn’t worry about real-world friends/family finding it and eagerly reading every word. I made a bunch of stuff private (mostly mom-type musings that I know my kids would hate having out there now). Some stuff is actually missing, which is no big deal. I’ve given up on trying to remember every detail of my life. I’m a sporadic diary-keeper.
I do have some pictures, though. In other news, fireworks are scheduled for tonight. I’d rather have them on the real 4th of July, but apparently it will save a lot of money to not have to pay overtime to all the cops and fire fighters who will need to be on duty while the controlled explosions are taking place.
Hey, it’s my birthday. My family picked out a pie from Hubbard Avenue Diner for me, and we’re going to Quaker Steak & Lube. Par-tay.
Ludwig continues to be a source of joy, and I can’t imagine getting through this past week without him. Yesterday we visited the vet. He completely enchanted the staff, earning extra treats, lots of attention, and the privilege of wandering all over the office. Several people offered free dogsitting. And he got to meet a friendly collie, which made me wonder if he kind of misses having other dogs around.
Ludwig rarely barks, but the other day at the park he saw two yellow labs and started vocalizing at them. We weren’t sure whether he was being friendly or freaked out. Now, though, I think we need to find him some canine friends. He does enjoy his valkies, and barks while prancing around in circles whenever one of us reaches for his leash.
Anyway, the vet said his incisions appear to be infected, so we’ve started antibiotics. Ludwig also has some fairly bad tooth decay, so we’ll be getting his teeth cleaned as soon as the other stuff clears up. Otherwise, he’s an awesome 10.8 pound bundle of love and fur.
We made it through Friday, although it was very difficult with many tears from all of us. The doctor could not have been more wonderful with his bedside manner through it all. Foxxi was in a good mood until the end, especially because we treated her with all her favorite things. Moon made popcorn for her. We took her outside and set her in the grass. She was even pleasant while Moon and I took turns taking photos holding her.
Letting go is so difficult. Saturday morning was strangely quiet without Foxxi there. Pete felt it the most, because he is the first one out of bed and had many morning routines with her. We had an appointment to meet a shelter dog in Illinois — I had seen him on Petfinder a few months ago and (uncharacteristically) emailed to find out the rest of the story. He was scheduled for surgery, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. It turned out that the vet had wanted to keep him as the clinic dog, and the foster family had become attached and was planning to keep him permanently. With so many potential families for him, I felt better knowing that he’d get the love he’d missed out on when he was neglected. (So neglected that an ear infection was left untreated and resulted in his entire ear canal being removed — that was the surgery he had needed.)
Well… as we were going through our excruciating last days with Foxxi, I received an email saying that the foster family had decided Happy (his new name, as the original owner had never bothered to give him one) would be better off in a less chaotic household. Which meant he could be ours.
So yesterday morning, I was really unsure if we’d be able to do it. I told everyone that we could meet him, and make a decision in the new few weeks if we weren’t ready so soon. Famous last words…
As we left, we saw this photo.
And when we met, his friendly face won us over right away. He’s still recovering, and needs TLC. But he’s spunky and cheerful and just what we needed. This morning, when Pete was doing yoga, Happy thought he was playing and licked his face during downward dog. He loves car rides, lap sitting, and pretty much everything else.
We’ve named him Ludwig von Happy. And we’re calling him Ludwig, Happy, Happykins, Sweetie, and whatever other terms of endearment come to mind. I have a feeling Foxxi would be totally okay with this. She trained us to be dog people, after all. (Full photo set is here.)
June 25, 2009 at 7:46 pm · Filed under animals, foxxi
I’m coming out of the woodwork a bit. Actually, I’m kind of going through my old posts, making some of them private, doing a few minor edits and so forth. After being careful not to use real names on this site, I’m toying with the idea of connecting it with my other online personas (Facebook, Twitter, etc.). The kids are older now, and things have changed since I started this up in 2003. (The first available posts are 2004, though… I lost a bunch of stuff transitioning servers or something at some point.)
I am leaving some of the dumb stuff, but deleting other stuff that is excruciating boring or generates a WTF? reaction. Not that I think anyone will read my ancient history, but one must be careful.
Anyway, time for a quick update. This one is about death. Today, we lost two very public figures: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. One was expected, one was sudden and shocking.
Tomorrow our family is going to experience a much more personal loss.
Our corgi, Foxxi, has been steadily declining for the past few years. The decline has become much more rapid in the past 10 months. This spring, genetic testing showed that she has Degenerative Myelopathy, a condition that affects German shepherds, corgis and boxers more commonly than other breeds. Her symptoms have been textbook. We noticed a weak back paw, which eventually turned into two weak back paws, and weakness spreading up her torso and into her front limbs.
This past month has been bad. She can no longer reach her food and water without help. She can’t move herself, and whines when we walk from room to room… she can’t follow. She wets herself and can’t move away from the puddle. She poos in the house, or even as we are carrying her. She still tries to do her business outside, but can’t always let us know she needs to go. She hasn’t had a walk in a year. She can’t drag herself anymore.
Yet she still smiles, and she still has an appetite. Which means she still is getting some joy from her life.
That has made this decision very difficult. Tomorrow we are letting her go. We are giving her extra treats and trying to make her last week as pleasant as possible. (It’s tough because she doesn’t enjoy petting and tends to bite because she’s paranoid about being touched. She tolerates being picked up and moved, thank goodness.)
When we came home from work today, Foxxi was on a towel, in a puddle. I picked her up, cleaned the mess and took her outside. Pete helped me wipe her down with cat shampoo. As he was doing that, I told her, “One more day, baby.” She turned her face towards mine and gave me a lick on the cheek — something she never does anymore.
I’m choosing to take it as a sign of her acceptance. I think she’s tired of her immobility and lack of power, and ready to move on. I hope we can all take comfort in that tomorrow.
Foxxi is our first family dog, and gave us a lot of joy over the years. She has been feisty and difficult at times, but we’ve loved her well. And I think she has loved us back.
I’ve been in the biggest blogging slump ever. Ever. I think Facebook and Twitter are to blame. It’s so much easier to post 140 characters, and I get way more feedback there than I do here. My knits are on Ravelry and Flickr. And most of all, I feel like I can’t really say much about my kids, as they are teenagers and VERY PRIVATE about things.
Really, the whole reason I started writing online back in 2003 (or whenever it was… this isn’t my first blog, but most of my stuff is here) was to have some sort of journal for myself. I’ve been that kind of person on and off for my whole life. Somewhere I have stored a collection of half finished paper diaries and blank books. Scrapbooking filled that need for me, too, until I got so far behind on my pictures that I kind of gave up.
I’m in limbo about My Perky World, I guess. I do have a lifetime hosting agreement, so it doesn’t cost much to keep this stuff out there. What do you think? Who here isn’t already my Facebook friend?
As a coach, I’m in the business of helping people get answers to their most pressing decisions in life. Now, it’s not uncommon for a client to come or call and say, “I like gardening, playing the cymbals, hiking in the backcountry, helping people, and learning about color theory, healing energy techniques, and Russian Poetry. So how do I put that all together?” Then they pause and wait for their magic answer. They will be pausing a long time, I assure you.
I will tell you what I tell them. You don’t have a thousand different directions. The mind has a thousand directions. But your heart has only one or two. You don’t even have a decision to make. It’s already been made and encrypted within you, like the rhythm of your toes soft padding on the floorboards and the delicate, determined map of your fingerprint. It’s just there, strange as the moon, yet familiar as your breath.
Remember, the mind likes to window shop. It fancies the life in this boutique, then wants to try on the boots in another. But the soul invests all of itself. It’s not as casual or as distracted by fashion, sales, promises or ease of acquisition. It’s not interested in possibility. It pitches toward destiny. That’s why you will never know a sense of ease, even when you come up with answers, unless you choose to listen to the answer that will take away all questions.
This is great stuff. If you want to read more, go here.
“Craft” It’s all about cool, crafty things… artist profiles, unusual crafts, tutorials, and more. I have all 10 print copies. Unfortunately, they’re ceasing print publication but are still on the web at craftzine.com.
“Bust” This is the only “women’s” magazine I’m willing to read. And I read every issue cover-to-cover.
“ReadyMade” Lots of clever household-type projects, and fun columns such as the monthly MacGuyver column. I’ve heard they’ve changed ownership and staffing, though, so the jury is out as to whether I’ll keep subscribing.
January 29, 2009 at 4:10 pm · Filed under books, family
Latest update: My dad was supposed to go home from the hospital yesterday, but he developed a fever and had to stay another day. They didn’t find anything seriously wrong with his heart or arteries. My mom remembered a friend of hers had chest pain before having gallbladder surgery. So she asked the doctor if he thought my dad’s gallbladder should be tested.
That’s what’s going on today. I also had my hair cut. I’m trying to decide if it’s short enough. (I do like it, though.)
Also, I’m all about the zombies today: read this and imagine seeing that during your morning commute. Also, check out this soon-to-be-released book. Awesome.
My mom called me this evening to fill me in on what’s been happening the past 48 hours. Yesterday, my dad had major angina pain—which freaked the heck out of him because he has already had two heart attacks. (The last one was something like 17 years ago. He’ll be 81 in March.) At first, he thought it was indigestion. When it worsened, my mom insisted on taking him to urgent care. The first clinic they went to was closed, so they headed to the next closest clinic. As the staff was whisking him inside, getting nitroglycerin, etc., they asked my mom why she didn’t go to the emergency room.
Same reason she didn’t call 911. It didn’t occur to her. She was in trying-not-to-panic mode.
Anyway, they sent for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. Funny enough, the hospital my mom would have chosen if she’d been thinking more clearly wouldn’t have been able to take him. Their emergency room was overflowing. He ended up at a different hospital, where he was given immediate attention. Serendipity.
So he’s been having tests, getting medication for the pain, and being constantly monitored. Coincidentally, the doctor is the same one who did both his angioplasties many years ago. Everyone seems to agree he’s in great shape for his age, and it appears he didn’t have a full-blown heart attack.
Tomorrow he’s getting an angiogram. They’ll be prepared to do surgery if necessary. I made my mom promise to call me as soon as she knew something, because I didn’t find out any of this until about an hour ago. She’s keeping up a good front, making jokes about having to take out the garbage tonight and so forth. (Same as I would do, actually.) I talked to my dad a few minutes ago. He said not to be worried, but I told him of course I’m worried. I feel optimistic, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be anxious. And a little shell shocked.
The universe seems to be taking care of things pretty well so far, but any positive vibes you can send our way are much appreciated.
We finally convinced Peter to work on his German dialog, which is 60% of his final. (Tomorrow is the last day of finals, which were pushed back a few days due to dangerous windchills, school cancellation, blah blah blah.) Moon is helping him, because of course hers is done, despite the fact that she would have an A in the class even if she skipped the final. Because that’s how she rolls.
Anyway, I thought I’d remove myself from the situation because I know if I’m sitting there I will interject unwanted comments, and my deep desire for Peter to pass his classes will emit desperation rays and distract everyone from the task at hand.
This has been a busy weekend. Moon and Pete had master class at Good ‘n Loud yesterday, which was a wild ride of difficult music including Rush’s YYZ. (For some reason, my mind shuts down when I speak that song title. I’ve called it XYZ, XYY and XXY. Hey, there aren’t any lyrics, so it could be about chromosome abnormalities.)
I’ve been knitting as usual and have already finished some new projects. Now I’m back to working on my Cassidy. The back and front panels are done, and I’ve started the first sleeve. At this rate, I won’t finish until spring, but that might be okay. The yarn is kind of an in-between weight.
In other news, I convinced the family to get AT&T U-verse, which means we have (1) DVR, and (2) way more channels than ever before. The DVR thing is way, way better than having to use videotape. And it’s been a culture shock getting used to watching quality programming such as The Colbert Report whenever we’d like. Remember when I eschewed television as opiate for the masses? And was proud that I’d never seen an episode of Friends? Yeah. I kind of think TV is awesome now.
Obstacles are a natural part of life, just as boulders are a natural part of the course of a river. The river does not complain or get depressed because there are boulders in its path. — The *I Ching.*
We’re all doing much better, thanks. Also, as of last night the kids and I are completely caught up with Lost. Which means we can watch new episodes with everyone else, yay. My mind is still kind of reeling from the finale, but fortunately there are some cool and helpful special features on the DVD set. (A collection of the flash-forwards in order, for one.)
I haven’t been back to the pool yet, but I’m thinking about going tomorrow. One must be sure to be virus-free before sharing fluid space with others.
Christmas was great, but since then we’ve been wrestling with an unwanted visitor. Namely, the stomach flu. It’s been like the movie Alien around here. Who will be next? Which ensign will be found with his innards eviscerated?
First, it was Moon. We came home from our post-Xmas/gramma’s birthday celebration from my parents’ house. The dinner theme was Casseroles! so Moon was complaining that the food was giving her an upset stomach. She put on her brand-new PJs (from gramma, featuring a penguin that lights up when you move, which is actually cute and fun) and we started watching some Lost Season 4 (one of my presents).
A bit later, she ran to the bathroom and started puking so violently I couldn’t believe it was all coming from her. Basically, the puking kept going on and on until the runs kicked in. And chills, she also had chills. At one point she decided to just lie down on the bathroom floor to rest.
But her penguin PJs were certainly cheery, lighting up with her every move!
She was much better by Monday night. At that point, my stomach started doing strange things and I interpreted it as “hunger” when I should have been thinking “possession by evil viral spawn.” So I had a bowl of — wait for it! — leftover split pea soup. With wasabe peas and some Christmas cookies.
A few hours later, it was like a scene from The Exorcist in slo-mo. Needless to say, I was up all night with chills, cramps and vomiting. Like Moon, I attempted to sleep on the bathroom floor.
In the morning, my body started ejecting from the other end. This went on and on. So on New Year’s Eve, I’m weak and still ejecting a bit. Moon is much better. We’re thinking about playing games and having family fun. Except… Pete is sitting in the kitchen, doubled over, with his forehead on the table.
Another man down! About an hour later, Peter is crabby, crampy and testy. On the up side, neither of them had eaten any dinner. Peter had skipped lunch. So at least they hadn’t been eating split pea soup.
I just made a run to the store for some more popsicles and chicken & rice soup. Par-tayy! Happy New Year, and with a start like this, the end of 2009 ought to be awesome.
December 17, 2008 at 2:27 pm · Filed under astrology
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the Broadway play “Passing Strange,” the narrator Stew says, “You know how one morning you wake up as an adult and you realize your entire life is based on a decision you made as a teenager?” If that description applies to you, Cancerian, 2009 will be the best year ever to do something about it. In the coming months, you will have the power to correct errors or misjudgments you made way back when. You’ll be able to figure out how to start over in an area of your life that you’ve always assumed you were doomed to accept just the way it is. You may even find that you can, in a sense, change the past and reconfigure your memories.
I do have some pictures, though. In other news, fireworks are scheduled for tonight. I’d rather have them on the real 4th of July, but apparently it will save a lot of money to not have to pay overtime to all the cops and fire fighters who will need to be on duty while the controlled explosions are taking place.
